RULES ARE FOR THE OTHER GUY – PART 2

THE FAST PASS OF LIFE AND BUSINESS!

Let’s get right into part to of the series I am calling, ‘rules are for the other guy!’. If you haven’t listened to part one of this series yet, the title and what is to follow may not make complete sense so, as always, I highly recommend you listen to that one first to get a good sense of what this is all about. As a brief recap, however, the title comes from one of my old managers, and the owner of the pizza place that I worked at when I was 16 and 17 years old was a high energy, very successful business owner who was fond of saying, ‘rules are for the other guy’ as a way to express his disdain for people telling him what he should be doing. If he even got a whiff of somebody saying there were rules, impediments to obtaining something, somebody in a position somewhere saying no, an official saying something wasn’t possible or doable, Frank would say, ‘well, rules are for the other guy!’, to which he would follow it up with, ‘watch this!’ And, typically, when Frank would return from wherever he went to solve the issue, he’d have an approval in his hand, some money in his briefcase, a signed contract, or whatever it was that somebody said couldn’t be done. In essence, there was nothing that was going to stop Frank from obtaining or achieving what he wanted. 

As far as I know, Frank never broke any laws, never did anything illegal, and never strong armed anybody to get what he desired. He was a good salesperson, was very charismatic, and he was just rock solid on what he wanted, and nothing would stand in his way. I didn’t know it at the time, but several other of my mentors over the next 20+ years, would have this same ‘rules are for the other guy mentality’ when it came to getting stuff done. I started to see the similarities in the achievers, and also some of the key differentiators between those who got things done and those who didn’t. I made a connection while standing in line for a new roller coaster at Cedar Point that the people who had the fast pass, the ones willing to spend the extra money to fly straight to the front of the line, were enjoying their day far more than the rest of us standing in the multi hour lines waiting to take a 5-minute ride. It would be over the next several years that I started to make another connection between the ‘rules are for the other guy’ attitude I learned from Frank and others, and the fast pass idea. I started to see that Frank had figured out that in life there are often a series of waiting lines, bureaucracies, people trying to keep you down, people telling you it can’t be done, red tape, and a whole bunch of other things that, if you allow them, will have you turning back and and going home instead of chasing your dreams. It was almost as if he had realized that the system was set up to make people wait in these proverbial lines to burn them out and make them go back home. Frank didn’t see himself as somebody who waited in line, so he always looked for the strategic shortcut, not to step on anybody or take something from somebody, but simply to bypass the waiting in line part knowing full well that the majority of the line waiters were going to burn out long before they arrived anywhere. 

Frank knew something that most didn’t, and I wouldn’t learn for many years after that, and it was that we all only have so many hours on this planet and we all only have so much energy to accomplish things. It was better to look for a shortcut, a back door, or a fast pass to the front of the line so as to preserve his energy and creativity to make money. Love him or hate him, Frank had some things figured out. Again, at 16 and 17 years old, I was very impressed with what appeared to be Frank’s superhuman ability to make things happen where others couldn’t or wouldn’t. Over the years I started to see this same quality and character trait in all of the teachers and mentors I would have in the coming years. Of course, they all had different personalities, different goals and visions, and different levels of success, but what they all seemed to have was this fast pass to the front of the line. I began to see the correlation between their attitude, their views of the world and of life in general, their sense of purpose, and their accomplishments and I started to take note of what I considered to be some of the similarities and crossover they all had. Obviously, some of them did better with their personalities than others. Some did better with their connections than others. Some were in tougher industries and more difficult situations than others, but all of them seemed to have or do all of the things that we’re talking about in these two episodes. I wont recap the first five traits I talked about in the last episode, so go back and listen to that episode to get those, they’re pretty important. 

The sixth trait I saw in all of these ‘rule breakers’, if you will, was that every single one of them was a student of human behavior. I think being curious and being a constant learner is a trait of all high achievers in general, but these mentors were all intensely curious about what made people tick. Every single one of them seemed to have an innate sense of what made up certain personality types, how to modulate their communication styles to communicate with everybody in a certain way, how to get the most of people, how to tap into an individual’s drive and motivations, and, maybe most importantly, how to see through the bullshit. Every single one of these rule breakers had a very sensitive BS meter and they were not afraid to call it out when they saw it. It was one of the things I was most impressed about with all of them. They were all leaders as a result of this trait, or maybe they had to develop it to become a leader, but whatever the chronology of the attainment of this trait, being a student of human behavior allowed them to identify winners and get rid of the losers pretty quickly. Now, I know, this sounds somewhat harsh when you’re talking about human beings. I hate the term ‘loser’ when referring to another human being, but the reality is that we will all come in contact with people who simply don’t fit what we might need, or have the same good intentions as we might have. They might not be ‘losers’ in the sense that they’re not going anywhere in life, but they’re losers in the sense that they will drag down the collective energy of the group because that’s simply who they are. It’s a bad fit! You wouldn’t call these people losers to their face because you don’t believe them to be losers as people, you recognize that they’re potentially causing you to lose the game, so to speak, and holding you back from getting where you want to go. 

Being students of human behavior allowed all of them to lead people, quite often, in directions the people themselves didn’t even know they wanted to go, but also cut their losses quickly when they realized there simply wasn’t a good fit. Again, I learned this right away from Frank because they made me an assistant manager of the pizza place at some point so my job now included having to hire and fire as needed. Frank would always counsel me on who to fire, and fire quickly, when they weren’t fitting in. I would say, ‘but Frank, they’re really nice and I think we can train them to be better.’ Frank would say, ‘how long have they been here?’, ‘two months’, I would say. He’d then ask, ‘do you think you have anything else to train them on that you haven’t already asked of them?’, ‘not really’, I would say. He’d then say, ‘ok, and how long would you continue paying them out of your own paycheck until they get it?’, he would ask. Boom! Big smack in the face of reality! ‘Oh, I have to pay them out of my pocket?’, I would say. ‘Not yet you don’t because you’re paying them out of mine! So, we have two options; either you cut our losses and help him on his way to his next, potentially better, place in life, or you keep him on out of your own pay. If you think you can truly get him up to speed with yet another month of training, I will reimburse you everything you invested into him from your pay, and I’ll bonus you on finding a good hire! Whaddya think Blaine? Wanna take the risk?’ 

As soon as Frank put it that way it took on a whole new context and gravity that didn’t exist when it wasn’t my money. Frank had goals for the pizza place and he was always looking to ‘stack the team’ with the right attitudes, personalities, and mindsets that would help him get there. I may have been a bit of a bleeding heart in my earlier years because I tended to think I could save some people. Frank, as well as some of my other mentors, set me straight on exactly what to look for in that regard  and exactly what to look for to help inform you when it was time to cut your losses and move on. I became a student of human behavior in that moment. When you study human behavior, what drives people to do certain things, why they choose what they choose, you have a front row seat to what makes them tick and how to get the best out of them. You also learn to identify right away the traits and characteristic you simply don’t need in your life or your business and you move quickly to the front of the line. I said in number two of the last episode that one of the traits of those with a fast pass in life and business was that they learned that self improvement was somewhat backwards in that it leads people to believe they have to figure things out about themselves before they can take others with them. This sixth one might sound like it’s a contradiction to that one so let me clarify. 

I truly believe that we get what we want by helping others get what they want. Whether its our customers and clients, the talent within our organization, our families and friends, or anybody else in life who might be lost or in need of our help. However, that’s not a charge to save the world because you cant! There are simply some you will not be able to help no matter how much you might want to. This sixth trait of being a student of human behavior is not telling you not to help those who are lost or in need of help. Its simply that when applying this trait to your life and business, it’s important to be selective because you only have so much time, energy, and other resources to do this with. When it comes to your business, especially, it’s important to recognize that your goals for the business are paramount to the goals and desires of those within it, or the lack thereof. Your goals for the business may very well include the goals of those within it, but you have to keep your eyes peeled for those who might steer things in a direction you have no intention of going. Its not good for the business, and its not good for the rest of those you’re trying to help along the way. This was a hard lesson for me, which is why I’m spending extra time on it. I’ve sat in on many firings over the years, either because I was the one doing it, or because I was the dreaded ‘third man’ witness in those events. I always felt horrible when we had to let somebody go and I would spend an inordinate time thinking about it afterwards. What I have also learned is that time is the greatest equalizer in life and, over time, I came to learn that every single one of the people we had to let go, for whatever reason, ultimately eventually landed where they were supposed to be and it wasn’t with us. This changed my whole view of that process. When you identify somebody that just doesn’t fit, its not a firing, it’s a setting free of the individual so that they can find where they are better suited. Become a student of human behavior!

The seventh trait for earning your fast pass in life and business is, in my opinion, a simple one that doesn’t need much time. Its to learn to write ideas down constantly. Let me say it another way, all of the rule breakers I learned from were idea generating machines. Each and every one of them would spend some time, at least every week, just generating ideas. Some of those ideas were ways to solve problems, ideas for the business, but some of them were just simply ideas, the vast majority of which never made it past the page they were written on. However, as I would later learn, the ‘dead’ ideas, the ones that never went anywhere, weren’t dead ideas or failures of imagination at all, they were part of a larger process and practice. We tend to learn in school that you apply your creative thinking skills to solve problems. What this does over time is it kills our innate ability to generate sometimes seemingly off the wall ideas that could turn into something, or ideas that, when paired with some other seemingly unrelated idea, could turn into something fabulous. The practice of becoming an idea generating machine is not the practice of problem solving. Problems will be solve easier and quicker when you cultivate this habit. The practice of being an idea generator is simply to build up the muscle of coming up with ideas. Creativity and idea generation is a muscle like any other and it needs to be flexed and taxed if it is to be utilized. The less you use it, the more it atrophies and goes dormant. What you’re left with is only the part of your brain that looks for problems to solve. Where there is a lack of a problem to solve, quite often we’ll create one just to be able to fix it and feel validated. 

When you learn to be a constant idea generating machine, you are constantly peeling back the layers and clearing the path for very useful ideas, ways of seeing things, and potential combinations of things that can create something that has never existed. All of the rule breakers had a disciplined practice of simply coming up with ideas. Sometimes they were in the form of pictures, sometimes off the wall invention ideas, and sometimes indecipherable chicken scratch that only had meaning to them. I came across many whiteboards and legal pad scribbling of several of my mentors where I truly wondered what they were on at the time they wrote those things down. And it was because I didn’t understand the practice of idea generation and how it so positively related to how they came up with things. Their goals, their plans, the execution of their plans, how they spoke to people, what they saw in others, all of it was related in some way to this freeing up of their minds by spending some disciplined time each week on coming up with ideas. Learn to write things down and become an idea generating machine with no expectation that any of the ideas have to ever go anywhere or become anything. You’ll become a keen observer of the world around you as you start to look for cues and clues in your environment to spark new ideas. 

The eighth trait of the rule breakers and fast pass holders was that they were all risk takers. Now, this seems like a cliché that we’ve all heard a million times, and it is. Of course, they were risk takers, how else do you start a business or get ahead. But the way I’d like to share it with you is by something Frank said to me at 17 years old. It was just after I was promoted to assistant manager and got a buck or two raise in pay. At 17, that’s a big deal! But, as we sat in the back room and Frank could see I was excited about my new pay raise, he said, ‘don’t get addicted to it young man! Or you’ll get stuck working for people like me for the rest of your life!’ In turn, I remember thinking and saying, ‘that’s ok Frank, I like working for you!’ Of course, I couldn’t see past my 17 year old goals at the time, but he followed up with, ‘that’s cool Blaine, but if you ever want to be anything more than an employee, you’ll have to break that paycheck addiction! Don’t get addicted to a paycheck! Set aside some of your paycheck every single week to start your own business so that someday you can hire somebody else to make money for you!’ Boom! Another smack in the face and another paradigm shift from Frank Nall. Rules are for the other guy and paychecks are for employees. Profits are for owners! Noted Frank!

What I learned in later years was that Frank wasn’t just talking about a paycheck from an employer. He was talking about not getting addicted to the amount of money one earns and the subsequent lifestyle people tend to build up with their ‘paycheck’. Frank was talking about keeping things in check, saving money so that you can take risks, not getting too comfortable, and not creating a lifestyle that makes you make safer and safer decisions to protect that lifestyle. Again, I didn’t know it at the time, but I saw this philosophy in action anytime one of the employees would, say, get a new car. Frank would say, ‘well we got a forever employee now! He’s gonna have to work the rest of his young life away to make the payments on that thing!’ Don’t get offended about this next one ladies, this was Frank’s mind at work, but he would say the same thing anytime one of the male employees would announce they had a new girlfriend. ‘We got us another forever employee now boys! He’s going to have get some overtime in to pay for that! Remember, I told you Frank was a bit of a womanizer so maybe he was speaking from his own experience, but he had infinitely more resources to do what he wanted. What he was trying to do in his own way was point out where people, especially young people, set themselves up to be addicted to a certain level of pay and a certain lifestyle, which often puts them in a position of making sometimes bad decisions, or they can’t take advantage of opportunities because they have to maintain. 

I have made those errors in my own life, and I’m sure you have to. The lesson regarding paycheck addiction is a good one, in my opinion, and one I try to apply to my businesses where I don’t get addicted to a certain level of income. That doesn’t mean I don’t strive for a certain level or have goals for more, it means that I don’t set myself up to always HAVE to meet that level or else I’m in trouble. I want to have lots left over at the end of each month for investments and opportunities. That’s just me. Maybe you’re different in that regard. But keep in mind that everything we own, at some level owns us. We’ve lost the time it took to earn the money, we’ve lost the use of the money on the thing we bought, we’ve lost the universe of opportunities available to us by collapsing all of our choices down to the thing we chose to buy, and now we have to care for the thing. It doesn’t matter if it’s a car, a house, a cell phone, or an in ground pool. Not telling you not to have life’s luxuries and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Simply imploring you to ask the question, ‘do I own my stuff, or does my stuff own me?’, and, ‘am I so addicted to my income level that I have no room to take advantage of opportunities when they arise?’ ‘Am I living safe because I’m trying to protect what I have instead of taking the kinds of calculated risks that got me where I am today?’ ‘Am I resistant to failure and trying things because it might hurt my paycheck?’ In essence friends, where are you playing it safe because you’re addicted to a certain level. 

Some of my greatest breakthroughs and advancements in my own income have come when I came to the point of being willing to give up my income to pursue what I thought was something greater. They were all tests! It was like being on a game show where the host says, “alright Blaine, you can walk away with $100,000, or you can trade it all for a chance at the million! What are you going to do?” So, the question is yours to answer and live with, what’s it going to be. 

The ninth trait of the rule breakers and fast pass holders was that they chose their f*cks wisely! I heard this one from Frank often, more so because he loved dropping F bombs, but I didn’t really learn it from him. I learned this one more from life in general than I did any one person. We’ve all heard it before, there are books written about it now, its often said in different ways, but it all boils down to a universal fact of life as humans: we only have so much energy available to us on any give day, week, month and year so it’s imperative that we choose very wisely what we will give our attention, energy, and focus to each moment of each day. The best way I believe I’ve heard this expressed is that we must learn to identify and manage our energy leaks. Energy leaks out of us in a variety of ways and from a variety of places. When we spend too much time on things that ultimately don’t matter, you’re leaking energy. When you get upset and flip somebody off while driving, you’re leaking energy. When you jump on facebook to complain, beg, pander, or seek approval and validation, you’re giving away your energy. When you become jaded, worn out, and cynical, you’re leaking energy. We only have so much of it friends and it is absolutely imperative that you become an energy minimalist if you want to have enough left over to apply to the things that matter to you. 

The rule that was given to me by one of my great coaches is that we all only get three f*cks to give each week so you have to choose very wisely what you’ll give them to. If I handed you three coupons every Sunday night and said, ‘every time you get upset, you lose a coupon. If you waste time on frivolous things that don’t lift you up, don’t lift up others, and don’t add to you, your family, or the world in any way, hand in a coupon. If you get into an argument, flip somebody off, swear at somebody, or lose your cool in any way, turn in your coupon. But, you also have to turn in a coupon when you have a meaningful conversation, a loving moment, a pleasing interaction, or anything that lifts you and others up, because that’s the way it works! You have to give up your coupons no matter what and you only get three of them each week, how are you going to use them? If you use them all up on silly, frivolous, angry, cynical, or non-uplifting things, you will be dipping into the future reserves when you want to give a f*ck about something important to you. If you are always dipping into the reserves because you give away all of your f*cks, eventually you’ll run out. Become an energy minimalist, save your f*cks for the important stuff, and close up the energy leaks. Its vital, not only for your business, but maybe more so for your life!  Our quality of life is directly related to the amount of f*cks, the quality of those f*cks, and who and how we give them away. You are in charge of them, use them wisely. 

The 10th trait of the Frank’s of the world, the one’s who seem to always have the fast pass to the front of the line in life and business, is that they all knew which dreams needed to die, or at least be put in the back of the freezer, for them to move quickly and achieve what they set out to achieve. This is the Warren Buffett story about his private pilot, Mike Flint. I’ve told this story in other episodes so a quick recap is that Warren Buffett told Mike to writ down his top 25 career goals and aspirations. He then told him to circle his top 5. After that he told him to look at the list of the 20 things he didn’t circle and to never look at those 20 again, until he had achieved the 5 he had circled. Buffett said those 20 un-circled things have a greater risk of distracting you and diverting you off of the path than almost anything else in life. Warren Buffet was basically saying to Mike Flint, ‘you don’t have that many f*cks to give to all 25 things so choose the main things and give all your f*cks to those!’ Many of you might have a couple too many things that are distracting you from you big 3 things. Warren Buffett told Mike Flint to circle his top 5, I think that’s too many. The human brain tends to group in threes, and most people can’t focus on anything beyond 3 things at a time. Personally, I think we should always be working on 3 big things. Those 3 things can and will change over time, but three big rocks that you’re focused on. Once you clear a rock, you replace it with another. If you clear or achieve one of your big life rocks or goals, great, you can now dig back into the 20 you didn’t circle and choose one to add to your new three. 

In life we will all only get 4 to 5 big opportunities, at least when it comes to careers. If we have 50 reasonable working years, and it can take 5 to 10 years to establish yourself into a career, you might get 3 or 4 shots at changing those over the years and enjoying a multitude of careers and businesses. But you have to narrow down what you will focus on during those 5 to 10 years so that your focus is directed and not scattered trying to do 10 or 15 different things. When I teach on using content to build a business, I teach the same principle: narrow the focus on topic and platform. Don’t try to do it all on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, and a podcast. Narrow your focus and platform to one or two of those, be the best at it, and slowly add other platforms once you’ve mastered one. In life and business, to be best in class, in my opinion, you have to laser focus on some aspect of that business or industry until you are best in class in it, then and only then can you move on to something else. Until then, which of your dreams must die for you to that? You get to decide, but here’s the thing, you MUST decide!

There it is my friends, the 10 traits of the rule breakers and fast pass holders I’ve had the great fortune of learning from over the years. I’d love to hear what some of your lessons and observations have been from those you’ve learned from over the years. Reach out to me on social media, text me, find me on LinkedIn, jump into one of our private coaching groups, give me a call for some one on one coaching, or just keep tuning in each week for more just like this. By the way, I will be teaching a class on building a six figure business using content at the Valuation Expo in Vegas on September 8th of this year. I’d love to meet you in person if you’re thinking of going. What I’m also going to do is host a 4-5 hour business building class in a Bellagio hotel conference room for anybody who wants to jump in, and its all free. Our coaching members get first dibs at one of the 40 seats available, and after that it will be offered to participants of the Expo. Again, it’s absolutely free for you to jump in. Its my selfish way of pursuing my own goals of helping as many people as I can while I’m on this earth to increase their self worth and their net worth. If you’d like to join us on that day for some killer business building advice, reach out to me at [email protected], or on Facebook messenger, and let me know you’re interested in attending. 

Until then my friends and until next week, I’m out…